[Stuart Carlton]
Ah, it took exactly one. Teach me about the Great Lakes, teach me about the Great Lakes. Welcome back to Teach Me About the Great Lakes, a twice monthly podcast in which I, a Great Lakes novice, ask people who are smarter and harder working than I am to teach me all about the Great Lakes.

My name is Stuart Carlton and I work here with Illinois Indiana Sea Grant. And I'm so happy today to be joined by a first time Teach Me About the Great Lakes host, Mr. Natty Morrison. Natty, communication coordinator for Illinois Indiana Sea Grant, how's it going?

[Natty Morrison]
Calabunga, dude, doing great.

[Stuart Carlton]
Funny you should say Calabunga, Natty, because I'm actually going to start out this time with an important Great Lakes factoid that we got. And this actually is from listener The Great Diane.

[Natty Morrison]
I'm literally on the edge of my seat. I can't wait to hear what Diane has to say.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, well, here's the thing. So we have called, so I was driving to IAGLR, the International Associations for Great Lake Research Conference in Milwaukee. And on the way, I saw a sign for Sheboygan with an S.

In fact, there are two Sheboygans. You probably didn't know that. There are two Sheboygans.

[Natty Morrison]
I knew that.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, one with an S, one with a C. Just like me, Stuart Carlton. I got an S and a C.

And anyway, and so the sign for Sheboygan said the Malibu of the Midwest, which I found to be a little bit incongruous with my perception of Malibu and a perception of the Midwest. But the listener, Diane, wrote in to correct us on that. And so that is this week's Great Lakes factoid. It's a Great Lakes factoid, a Great Lakes factoid. It's a great factoid about the Great Lakes.

[Natty Morrison]
Sheboygan.

[Stuart Carlton]
Sheboygan is called the Malibu of the Midwest because it is the epicenter for surfing in the Midwest, up on Lake Michigan there, which is where Sheboygan is because we knew that. With the rocks there and when the winds come in and the winds blows in the 20s, it makes really big waves and people love to surf it. They have surf shops, all kind of stuff like that.

[Natty Morrison]
Fascinating.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, it is fascinating. So anyway, and the key time is September through about March because they need those winds. And so the surfing there, according to visitsheboygan.net, we'll put the link in the show notes because my browser is closed. But according to the Sheboygan visitor website, it's really intense because you have to dodge ice. And Natty, you sound a lot like Megan Gunn. That's weird.

[Natty Morrison]
I'm just working on the impression.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, that is good. But regardless, so there's ice you have to dodge and there's, of course, waves. There's probably some rocks.

[Natty Morrison]
All the best, the highlights of my favorite part about surfing, definitely, is the ice and the rocks.

[Stuart Carlton]
And of course, there are just thousands of surfers, I would assume. But I thought, Natty, actually, since you're relatively new here and we don't really know each other that well, why don't we take a road trip to Sheboygan and check it out ourselves?

[Natty Morrison]
I would love nothing more than to be in the car with you for how many hours is this going to be?

[Stuart Carlton]
Am I driving or you?

[Natty Morrison]
You.

[Stuart Carlton]
Like 17 hours.

I drive very slow.

[Natty Morrison]
All right.

[Stuart Carlton]
Well, let's head out to the car here, Natty.

[Natty Morrison]
Sure.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah.

[Natty Morrison]
I got nothing going on.

[Stuart Carlton]
Good. Excellent. And we'll walk on over there.

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah.

[Stuart Carlton]
All right. So, Natty.

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah. What's up, man?

[Stuart Carlton]
Not much. I did not know that you liked buckies that much.

[Natty Morrison]
I do. Do your windows roll up? So, I love the cold air.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah.

[Natty Morrison]
But, yeah, man.

[Stuart Carlton]
We're just prepping you for the water and the Malibu.

Hey, look, there's a billboard for Sheboygan. Weird. Malibu.

B-O-O. That's not what I expected at all.

[Natty Morrison]
That seems concerning.

[Stuart Carlton]
Nah, it seems like everything's fine. Well, anyway, given that that sound effect just ran out, it looks like we're there.

[Natty Morrison]
Wow.

[Stuart Carlton]
Let's climb up out of the car. Thank you for shutting that door. And we'll walk on over to the beach.

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah.

[Stuart Carlton]
Did you bring your surfboard? If not, we can rent one.

[Natty Morrison]
I did. I did. It's huge.

It's huge. And it was passed down to me from other surfers in my family.

[Stuart Carlton]
That's great. I did not realize how strong you were to carry such a large board.

[Natty Morrison]
It is both a blessing and a curse.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah. Your strength.

[Natty Morrison]
Yes, dude. Big time.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah. You know, sometimes your strength really is your biggest problem.

[Natty Morrison]
Do you know how often people ask me to help them move?

[Stuart Carlton]
No.

[Natty Morrison]
Like, at least once a summer.

[Stuart Carlton]
There you go. Anyway, hey, look at that. All right, here we are approaching the beach there.

You can hear the waves. Look at that on the beautiful Lake Michigan. Wait a minute.

Megan. Megan the Lake Lover Gunn. Is that you?

[Megan Gunn]
It is me. What are you guys doing here?

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, we're coming to surf.

Look at Natty's huge surfboard.

[Natty Morrison]
It is.

[Megan Gunn]
It's a pretty cool surfboard.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah.

[Natty Morrison]
It's got a huge. It's got a huge picture of me on it.

You can see people. People comment on it. They said, do you know that you were going to be surfing on yourself?

Yeah. And I said, yes.

[Stuart Carlton]
Ethan.

Ethan Chitty. I didn't know you like to surf as well.

[Ethan Chitty]
Well, it's more I get on a surfboard and then I fall down in the water. But it's an enjoyable task.

[Stuart Carlton]
It sure is. Especially in this beautiful water, this time of year up in North Lake, Michigan. Wait, who's that out on the water coming in now?

Hanging 11? Geneva Langland from Michigan Sea Grant. We haven't seen you in two years.

How are you?

[Geneva Langland]
Hey, hey, couldn't hold me back. I heard the surf was up and I had to come hang out with some of my favorite Sea Grant folks.

[Stuart Carlton]
That's gnarly Geneva. I'm so glad to see you here with your radical surf stuff. Oh, wait.

I didn't even know you could do a handstand on a surfboard, but they're skating over just gargantuan waves. Is that? It is.

That's the full dog herself. Carolyn Foley, Research Coordinator, Illinois, Indiana Sea Grant. How are you, Carolyn?

[Carolyn Foley]
Yo, what's up, hang loose.

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, and for those, this is an audio medium. But since we're out in the field and I can see what Carolyn's doing. She was doing the pinky and thumb thing.

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah. It's also the secret symbol for life.

[Carolyn Foley]
Yo, what's up, hang loose.

[Natty Morrison]
He's been drinking.

[Carolyn Foley]
But also call me.

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah, it's all three.

[Stuart Carlton]
It's a lot going on.

[Natty Morrison]
It's a rich tapestry.

[Stuart Carlton]
It is, much like life itself.

Well, this is fantastic. I had no idea we would see you out here. And the odds of seeing you among the just thousands of surfers out there right now in the Malibu of the Midwest are just tremendously low.

Well, that's great.

[Carolyn Foley]
It's been a really nice day. Very cold, but nice.

[Stuart Carlton]
Well, that's why you have that wetsuit on.

[Carolyn Foley]
Yep.

[Stuart Carlton]
It's interesting. It has a big maple leaf on it. That's an unusual wetsuit, especially because Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake contained, as you probably know.

Actually, you know what? What the heck? Hold on. It's a Great Lakes factoid. A Great Lakes factoid. It's a great factoid about the Great Lakes. Carolyn, did you know that Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake entirely contained within the United States?

[Carolyn Foley]
I did. But thank you for reminding me.

[Stuart Carlton]
No problem. And it depends very specifically on your Michigan Huron opinions. And we're aware of yours.

Well, anyway, this is fantastic. I'm so excited to learn all about surfing. I have never surfed, except for the net.

And so I'm just lucky to work with all of these surfing professionals to teach me all about surfing the Great Lakes. So should we go out and do the surfing?

[Megan Gunn]
Yeah, let's go do the surfing.

[Stuart Carlton]
All right.

[Carolyn Foley]
I'm really cold. Why don't we start a fire?

[Ethan Chitty]
Carolyn, you wouldn't be so cold out here on the coast if you would adopt my 19 teens woolen swimwear rather than these silly, silly wetsuits.

[Stuart Carlton]
And the way your hair is slicked and you've got a handlebar mustache, Ethan, it's quite the look for you. It's like you're on the inside of a hoist belt.

[Natty Morrison]
Guys, just be honest with me. Does my surfboard look cool?

[Ethan Chitty]
Needs another coat of wax. Okay, but...

[Carolyn Foley]
Hey, Stuart, can we start a fire or something?

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, it is. You know what, let's just...

[Natty Morrison]
You know what? We can use my surfboard as timber.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Let's go ahead and...

[Geneva Langland]
Thank you for your sacrifice to keep us warm.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, we appreciate you for doing that. Yeah, let's go.

[Natty Morrison]
Watch me burn.

[Stuart Carlton]
Natty, do you want to go ahead and... Oh, Ethan's there.

What do you know? He's handy. Oh, you're getting them out of your...

That's good, Ethan.

[Ethan Chitty]
Yeah, they're in there.

[Stuart Carlton]
Really struggling. You know why his hands are wet from all the surfing.

[Ethan Chitty]
I probably should have put them on the beach rather than bringing them with me.

[Megan Gunn]
Keeping them in your pocket.

[Stuart Carlton]
That was a mistake.

[Carolyn Foley]
Yeah, the wool didn't keep them dry, did they?

[Megan Gunn]
So warm.

[Geneva Langland]
There we go. All cozy.

[Stuart Carlton]
Boy, you know, being out on a beautiful night like this on Lake Michigan, just with some great friends, after a great day of surfing in the Malibu of the Midwest, with just thousands upon thousands of people out there surfing. This really is the life. Lake Michigan, what a lake.

[Carolyn Foley]
Hey, you know, we've got a campfire going and it's almost, you know, the end, in the middle of fall kind of thing. Anybody have a scary story to tell?

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh.

[Geneva Langland]
Yeah, I think I've got a scary story. You guys ready?

[Carolyn Foley]
Yes. Go for it.

[Geneva Langland]
Okay. All right, I'll kick us off. So, yes, hello. It's Spooky Lake Month, where we're doing 31 Days of Haunted Hydrology.

If that sounds familiar, it's because social media maven Gio Rutherford is back right now with another round of her massively popular video series, Spooky Lake Month.

[Stuart Carlton]
Lakey award-winning, you might want to point out, Geneva.

[Geneva Langland]
With her Lakey award-winning popular video series, Gio, and friend of Wisconsin Sea Grant, is an artist and writer from Wisconsin who goes by Geodesaurus on Instagram and TikTok. And since 2020, she spent the month of October highlighting waterways around the world that are marked by, in her words, natural phenomenon, scientific oddities, human interactions, environmental disasters, or mysteries lurking beneath the surface. Gio has featured deadly submarine disasters, drownings at dams, toxic waste pools, fatal shipwrecks, and the list goes on.

At the end of every video, she gives the phenomena a rating of 1 through 10 spookies. But 31 days every year over five years? That's a lot of spooky lakes.

And it makes me wonder how on earth Gio finds all these examples of boiling rivers and terrifying floods and nuclear power stations around the world. So what, what if, could it, could Gio be behind it all? Did Gio reach up from the depths of Lake Superior to pull the Edmund Fitzgerald into its watery grave?

Did Gio sabotage the blueprints for the 1980s New Jersey water park that was so dangerous people literally left their teeth embedded in the sides of the water slide? Is Lake Baikal only that deep because Gio dug it deeper? It may be spooky lake month right now, but watch out.

If Gio gets her way, if she turns up the temperature on more boiling rivers, if she drags more submarines into the deep, it could be spooky lake month all year round.

[Carolyn Foley]
So that's not a bad theory, Geneva.

[Geneva Langland]
Some, some powerful strings seem to be getting pulled and I know we should look at Gio herself.

[Megan Gunn]
I think so too.

[Stuart Carlton]
You hear that?

[Geneva Langland]
What was that?

[Stuart Carlton]
Probably just a rogue surfer, I guess.

[Natty Morrison]
I would probably know if I heard it again.

[Stuart Carlton]
Anyway, that's fun. That's great, Geneva. Does anybody else have any scary stories they want to tell?

[Ethan Chitty]
Do you ever wonder what it's like to be alone in the middle of Lake Michigan? Not on a boat, not swimming, just floating. Anchored, tethered, watching.

I'm a weather buoy, station 45170. My job? Monitor the lake, report the wind, measure the waves, track the temperatures, and send video of conditions back to shore.

I don't sleep. I don't blink. I just wake.

Most nights it's quiet. Just the slap of the water against my hull. The hum of my sensors.

The whisper of the currents below. But then came that night. The fog rolled in thick like a wet shroud pulled over the lake.

My solar panels hadn't seen the sun in days. My batteries were low. My signal was weak.

And I heard it. A motor. Faint at first, but wrong.

Not on course, no lights, no registration. Just drifting. It came closer.

I felt its hull slice through the water. And I calculated its trajectory. It was wrong.

Very wrong. I activated my beacon, flashed my strobe, screamed out into the void. Watch out!

Danger! But it didn't change course. No.

It turned towards me. And got louder. And the engine fired higher and higher.

It began to roar as it came towards me. Stop! Stop!

I screamed. Then I heard a scream. It wasn't mine.

The boat hit me hard. I spun. I felt a tugging sensation.

My sensors went wild. My anchor cable snapped. I was adrift.

But that wasn't the worst part. As I floated, I scanned the wreckage. The boat was half submerged.

No movement. No crew. Just silence.

Until I saw it. I saw him. A figure.

Standing on the deck. Pale. Still.

Watching me. I tried to transmit. No response.

I tried to record. But my camera flickered. The figure didn't move.

Didn't speak. Just stared. And then.

It stepped off the boat. Into the water. And vanished.

I drifted for hours. The currents pushing me in circles. And then out away from shore.

The lake grew colder. Deeper. Then I began to tip.

My stem was cracked. The world slowly turning sideways. One sensor shut off.

Then another dropped out. And another. My camera staring out across the water.

The reflection of my strobe starting to blind me from the side now. Then. The water started to slip over my lens.

All I could see was water. And bubbles. It got darker.

And darker. And colder. And I felt squeezed by the pressure.

I was dropping quickly now. Watching as my mooring line floated beside me for the first time. I sank deeper and deeper past the thermocline.

Into the black. Down where the sturgeon sleep. Where wrecks from a hundred years ago lie frozen in time.

Where the water is still. And the silt is thick. Thud.

I hit the bottom. And then the lake buried me. Slowly.

Softly. Like it was tucking me in. I can't transmit.

I can't float. But as long as my batteries hold out I can still watch. I can watch.

As the mussels slowly make me into their home. And sometimes. When the silt shifts.

I can see it again. That figure. Pale.

Still. Watching me. Haunting me.

So if you're ever out on Lake Michigan. And your instruments flicker. If your compass starts to spin.

If you hear a ping from down below. Don't investigate. Run.

Because I'm still watching. And so is it.

[Carolyn Foley]
Oh my goodness, Ethan! Let's go rescue the buoys!

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, well, so I can't believe you. I mean you speak extemporaneously like this with such a poetic elocution. It's just amazing.

[Ethan Chitty]
Well, we all have our skills.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, we do. That's genuinely creepy. I've been thinking about the buoys lately and so that's quite a lot.

Oh my god. I don't know what that was. That was weird.

Well anyway, being out here.

[Ethan Chitty]
Bless you.

[Stuart Carlton]
Up in Wisconsin, which we all know is where Sheboygan is.

The one with the S. The one with the C, of course, is in Michigan. It reminds me of, you know, we've had a couple great episodes with people from the place that I'm about to remember the name of.

With people from the Wisconsin National Marine Sanctuary. No, we haven't had any. Have we had any?

No, it's all been from the Shipwreck Museum, right?

[Megan Gunn]
Thunder Bay.

[Stuart Carlton]
If that. No, no, no. Wisconsin has a Shipwreck Museum.

Thunder Bay is in Michigan.

[Megan Gunn]
They're all the same lake.

[Ethan Chitty]
Lightning cut.

[Stuart Carlton]
Well, thinking about. Let me try that again.

You know, thinking about the bottom and things sinking like that. It reminds me of shipwrecks and, you know, we love to have episodes about shipwrecks. We've done a shipwreck draft.

We spoke with our great friend. Teach me about the Great Lakes Hall of Famer, Stephanie Gondula, about shipwrecks. And there's a new National Marine Sanctuary here in Wisconsin, actually.

And there's shipwrecks nearby. And one of them is the senator. And I was actually thinking about the senator lately because there's a story.

There's this guy. His name was Anderson. And Anderson was on hard times.

Very hard times. You know, in this economy, there's a lot of inflation. And then on top of that, there's a lot of uncertainty at the federal level in terms.

And Anderson was relying on some federal funds that got discontinued. And so it was really rough times for Anderson. But fortunately, he was also an extraordinarily skilled diver.

And so off the coast of the sanctuary is a very famous ship called the senator. And the senator turns out it sunk in 1929. Not the most famous crash in 1929, of course.

But that was when the big stock market crash was. Yeah. All right.

Anyway. And so Anderson had unusual skill. They're just now starting to be able to image this thing with some new technology that they're using.

They want to try and eventually go and see the Endeavor or the Endurance. Whatever it is in South. It doesn't matter.

In Antarctica.

[Ethan Chitty]
Endurance.

[Stuart Carlton]
The Endurance.

Thank you. Yeah. Not the Endeavor.

They're endeavoring to see the Endurance. That's what had me confused. And anyway.

But so it was carrying a bunch of cars, you know, like vehicles to it. And it was going to go to a car show in Detroit, or as they say, they're in Detroit. And so it was endeavoring to go to Detroit with all these cars.

And, you know, it crashed, man, you know, because that happens with boats. And so the big ship wreck went down. And that's the most famous one.

It's very hard to dive there, though, because it's 415 feet down, which is quite the depth. But Anderson, being a skilled diver and having both extra time and not much money, thought that he could probably make it down there. And so he said to himself, I'm going to make it down there.

So he got his diving equipment. He actually got it in Sheboygan. Not only do they surf here, but if you know the right places, you can get really good dive equipment.

And so he went into Sheboygan. He drove in. He saw the surfers.

There were thousands of surfers. And while everybody's out there surfing, he went to the little behind the dive shop. So you go into the dive shop, into Johnson's dive shop.

And you ask Johnson, is there snorkeling stuff here? And Johnson says, no, there's not. And then Johnson starts to point this way.

And you say, are you sure there's not? And Johnson says, absolutely not. There isn't.

So Anderson saw that and said, OK. Walked outside, went around back, and there was a little hut this big, just big enough for a person. No more.

Maybe two people, because I just realized he has to be able to get in there, too. And so there were room for two people in this hut. And so he goes in there.

And you're not going to guess. There was the guy there running out, snorkeling equipment. And this guy had long hair.

And he had spirally eyes. Very weird. Unusual situation.

Most people don't have this. And he had a wily beard. And there was little bits of fish in there and some mussels.

And it looked like maybe even some gobies in there. And Anderson said, what are the odds of having seen that here? Anyway, can I get some snorkeling equipment?

And the guy said, are you going to investigate the benthos? And Anderson said, well, of course, I'm investigating the benthos. That's all I know about is the benthos.

Fine. So he gets some snorkeling equipment. What's he get, Megan?

He gets some tanks.

[Megan Gunn]
Well, that's diving equipment. But yeah.

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, that's what I meant. Yeah. He got some tanks and one of those little mouth things.

[Carolyn Foley]
Because he needs to go 415 feet.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, he's not going to snorkel that. He's very good.

[Megan Gunn]
Yeah, he got a dry suit.

[Stuart Carlton]
Yeah, yeah, got to stay warm. He got one of those dry suits. The little flippers, got some flippers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, got those. And he painted on those. He painted pictures of the little gobies.

[Megan Gunn]
I like that.

[Natty Morrison]
Was it rented? He painted.

So he desecrated the rented.

[Stuart Carlton]
It's expected.

[Ethan Chitty]
Was this the big spun brass dry suit? Oh, right.

[Stuart Carlton]
No, it's just a regular. Anyway, so then he went, he got going. Okay.

And he dove down deep using all of his extreme snorkeling skill. And he went down there and he found the ship, which, as you remember, is called the Senator. And anyway, so there is a Senator.

And he saw the deck of the ship was just covered in cars. Not just any cars, 1929 cars, which are kind of cool in a retro sort of way. Right.

And because the shipwreck is in freshwater, not salt, it's in much better condition than shipwrecks are. Right. Yeah, yeah.

That's something that we've learned in this show. Anyway, so he said, find car here. That's a neat car there.

But he knew what he was looking for was there was very deep down inside of it, an experimental car. Government experimental car that nobody knew about except him because he'd read about it on the dark web. And so he went down there and deep into the bottom of the ship.

And there, shining black with a strobe light and a roused mast or whatever you said earlier, activated. There was this experimental car and it was shining gold. And oh my goodness, it was made out of gold.

Now, Anderson's a good diver, but he's not very strong. His surfboard is only four feet. But so he grabbed all the gold that he could, stuffed it in his little pockets and used the Gobi painted fins to climb out.

And he knew they'd be coming after him. So he said, what am I going to do? How am I going to get out of here?

So he ran to his car, tried to start his car. Wouldn't start. Oh, this is no good.

So he said, what am I going to do? He went and looked and he saw nearby. He heard the sounds of a train.

He heard a train honking, right? And he said, huh?

[Natty Morrison]
Tooting.

[Stuart Carlton]
Tooting, yeah. Like, I don't know where a train's going. It's probably a southbound going all the way to Georgia.

And so he thought he would hop on the train. So he ran over to the train track, hopped on the train, and he looked around and he started to feel really guilty. So wait a minute, I might get caught.

If I get caught, I might go to jail and I can't go to jail. I'm a city boy. So anyway, and so what he said, I have to do, I have to take control of this train.

So he walked, he started in the caboose, which is the back car in the very train. And he went up through the dining car, the sleeping car, very carefully through the quiet car and the party car, all those.

[Megan Gunn]
Is he still in his scuba gear?

[Stuart Carlton]
He had taken it off. Thank you for asking. Yeah, he had taken it off.

[Ethan Chitty]
He said he wasn't very strong. Wow, that's kind of impressive.

[Natty Morrison]
Did he give his deposit back or anything?

[Stuart Carlton]
You know, at this point, he's got so much gold, he doesn't care. I mean, he couldn't carry that much, but gold is very expensive. And so, all right.

So he sneaks up and he sees the train driver and he just pushes the train driver out of the train and he gets in.

[Natty Morrison]
Murder.

[Stuart Carlton]
So anyway, he's driving and the train, it comes to the train station. He's like, oh no.

He's like, I guess I got to slow down. So he slows down and they stop. And there, the police are waiting for him and they catch him.

And they say, you, you murdered the train guy, the engineer. And Anderson said, yeah, I did. I mean, there's just no two ways around this.

[Ethan Chitty]
Yeah, I forgot about that.

[Stuart Carlton]
In this economy, though, what do you want me to do? And so they said, well, you know, the punishment for that in this state of Wisconsin is the electric chair.

And Anderson said, oh, that's unfortunate. Wish it wasn't. Yeah.

So anyway, they sat him down, you know, quick trial, guilty. And they sat him down in the electric chair. Or before, they're like, what do you want for your last meal?

He said, well, you know, I saw those gobies. That looked pretty good. I think I would like seven goby dog sandwiches.

[Geneva Langland]
Seven.

[Stuart Carlton]
Seven goby dogs. And he said, okay, fine.

You know, we, I mean, it's your last meal. This is famously, you have to get whatever. It's just the rules.

And so he ate the seven goby dogs. He dragged them through the garden and got the pickles and whatever. And he said, you know, there could be a business here.

And so he ate the goby dogs. And they put them onto the electric chair. And they pulled the electric chair lever.

And all the electricity came, you know, electrifying in. And he shook a little bit. Anderson did.

And then nothing happened. And they looked around. They pulled the lever.

Electricity went. He shook. Nothing happened.

He said, okay. Well, I mean, the penalty was, the head electrifier said, the penalty was that you had to get the electric chair. And you did.

So I guess we got to let you go. So they unstrapped him and let him go. Anderson was off.

And he said, no, wait a minute. I'm going to do this again. So he went back to the shop. The guy wasn't there. So he was just able to grab three or four pairs, just in case he needs it for any given reason of dive stuff.

And so he put the dive stuff on his back. Went back out to the center. Dove down.

Secret chamber. Guess what? More gold.

Put in his pockets. Went back up. His car had been towed.

He's like, well, what am I going to do now? And he heard the train. Beep, beep, beep.

He's like, I mean, sure, I got caught the first time. But this time I'm prepared. So he ran on the train.

Kaboom. Signing car. Quiet car.

Up to the front. And he said, this time I'm going to do it differently. And so he put a blindfold on the guy.

And he's like, nice job. And a little gag. And so he said, all right.

Now when we get to the train station, I need you to play it cool, man. Don't worry. Everything will be fine.

So he got to the train station. And the train station guy said, why is this guy blindfolded? At that point, Anderson realized his plan was maybe a little half-baked.

And so he hit the accelerator on the train. Threw the guy out the window.

[Natty Morrison]
Again, murder. Number two.

[Stuart Carlton]
And then kept on driving. Then he pulled into Chicago. Slowed down.

Police were there. And they said, oh, this is no good. We're going to have to arrest you.

And in Chicago, the penalty is electric chair. He said, no way. What are the odds?

And so they put him in the electric chair. Last meal. And they said, and the guy from Wisconsin said, he's going to want the Gobi dogs.

Don't give him the Gobi dogs. And he said, I want seven Gobi dogs. You can't have seven Gobi dogs.

Can't do it. What about five? Fine.

Five Gobi dogs. So he had five Gobi dogs. Last meal.

They did the electric chair thing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Anyway. So he did it again. Did more.

And this time he drove the train. But it was a real problem because he was coming up. And there were like three people that train on a split.

And there were three people on the left side of the track. One person on the right side of the track. And he was headed toward the left side of the track.

But he had a moment where he could pull a lever and go to the right side of the track. Saving those three lives. He's like, I don't even know what to do.

And so he drove. And he pulled the lever. And like the train hit something.

It fell off of the track. And killed them all. Murder.

And so they brought him in. This time with three Gobi dogs. They gave him three Gobi dogs.

And they're like, what's going on? Electric chair. But he said to himself, this is great.

I'm invincible. It's amazing. So he did it again.

And it was like a Groundhog Day situation. The train kept getting into worse and worse crashes. That were increasingly his fault.

And they kept trying to electrify him. And it wasn't happening. Finally, the Supreme Court of the state of Illinois said, all right, one more time.

Same deal happened. Gold, et cetera, et cetera. And they pulled the thing.

And absolutely nothing happened. One last time. So he said, I guess you're free to go at this point.

So Anderson took his gold. He looked over the wreckage of the dozens and dozens of trains. And he left.

And so the head electrifier looked at the other guy and said, what do you think happened here exactly? Why do you think he was unable to? Uh, uh, be executed this way.

And they looked at each other. They looked at the trains and they said, you know, I guess he just wasn't that good of a conductor.

[Geneva Langland]
Oh, no.

[Megan Gunn]
Oh, man. I thought you were going to say that it was because the Gobi dogs made him invincible.

[Stuart Carlton]
No, that's what we call in the storytelling industry, a red herring.

[Carolyn Foley]
So just, just, I mean, gold's kind of heavy. Um, I, I, but you know, that's, there are a few holes. There are a few holes. Okay. So I, I do have, um, truly terrifying story.

[Ethan Chitty]
Everybody knows that you want to get your scuba gear from a privy behind a shop.

[Carolyn Foley]
From a guy with spiral eyes who keeps showing up. Yeah.

[Natty Morrison]
What about the guy with the spiral eyes? That would have been way better.

[Megan Gunn]
Was his beard wet?

[Carolyn Foley]
I don't know.

[Megan Gunn]
All the things alive.

[Stuart Carlton]
I mean, just go listen to old episodes. I don't know.

[Carolyn Foley]
So, okay.

[Stuart Carlton]
Not my problem.

[Carolyn Foley]
Truly, truly terrifying. Okay. Ready?

Rising water levels, changing water levels, increased flooding, precipitation changes and ocean acidification that can even happen in the great lakes. That's it. That's my story.

[Geneva Langland]
My teeth are chattering in fear.

[Carolyn Foley]
What on earth?

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, that's great though. No, it's really super to be out here.

Um, with a bunch of friends.

[Ethan Chitty]
Wait, what is this? You could say, Stuart, this thing is starting to go off the rails.

[Stuart Carlton]
No, nothing ever goes off. Anyway, but out here, it's fine. We haven't even opened up whatever Megan brought in her ice chest tonight yet.

[Megan Gunn]
That's okay.

[Stuart Carlton]
No, it's fine. Anyway, this is super fun, uh, to do. Did you hear that?

[Natty Morrison]
I did this time. I definitely did.

[Stuart Carlton]
You definitely heard that. That's weird. Wait, what is that over there?

[Carolyn Foley]
It's really, it's really nice to be sitting here with you all. Lake Michigan really has some of the prettiest shorelines, I think, in all of the Great Lakes. I haven't really appreciated the Wisconsin side of the lake as much as I've appreciated the Michigan side.

[Stuart Carlton]
No, that's true. That's the nice thing about coming to the Malibu, the Midwest, is it gives you that, right? And, uh, really, I mean, just, it enables this wonderful time.

So not only is it, of course, a critical water resource, but, you know, uh, really the friends we've made along the way, uh, just excellent on account of Lake Michigan. So that is super. What?

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
Lake Michigan is good? What are you gonna want to be?

[Carolyn Foley]
What the? Who are you?

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
That's right. I'm here. I am the gloat, the greatest lake of all time.

I'm the biggest. I'm the baddest. I'm the largest freshwater lake on the whole planet by surface area.

I've got more water than either of the Great Lakes put together. Face it. Lake Michigan is just my runoff.

[Ethan Chitty]
Really? You think you're the biggest?

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
I mean, I'm the gloat.

[Ethan Chitty]
I mean, you're, you're spread across two distinct countries. You are not even near the biggest in the United States. And we know that's the important.

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
Well, that's mighty appropriate of you. But I am the clearest of the clearest of the Great Lakes. Like you can see your little tootsies trying to win out in Lake Michigan.

[Carolyn Foley]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A bunch of Lake Michigan and Lake Huron are becoming way more oligotrophic and clear than you. And I mean, technically, they're collectively the same lake and they're bigger than you.

But yeah, they can see they're getting super clear. They're getting clearer than you even.

[Megan Gunn]
Clean and clear isn't always the best thing.

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
Okay, well, it's right there on my name, Lake Superior. They would not have called me that if I were not superior. I mean, it's literally in the name Lake Superior.

So Lake Michigan. Oh, look at me all in one country. I have no tariffs on me.

But I am not the best lake on account of my name is in Lake Superior.

[Natty Morrison]
Who are you trying to convince here, man? Me or you?

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
That's it.

I've had enough.

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, gosh. It's coming for us. Look out.

I didn't know a lake could have a mouth. But look at that. Oh, come on.

[The Great Big Scary Lake]
We're almost over.

[Stuart Carlton]
Teach Me About the Great Lakes is brought to you by the fine people at Illinois Indiana Sea Grant. We encourage you to check out the cool stuff we do at iiseagrant.org and iiseagrant on Facebook. Lots of other social media.

Insta. Blue Sky. The old blue ski.

Whatever. Our senior producer. I'm going to do all this one.

[Megan Gunn]
Okay. Nope, that's fine. I just found it.

I don't need it.

[Stuart Carlton]
Our senior producer is Scaralyn Foley. And our Teach Me About the Great Lakes is produced by Megan the Loaded Gunn. And I scream Miles.

Ethan, watch out for that axe, Eugene Chitty. Watch out for that axe, Ethan Chitty. Ethan's our associate producer and fixer.

Our coordinating producer is Moti Agunmiade. Today's stories were brought to you by the Teach Me About the Great Lakes team and our good friend Geneva Haunted Langland. And our super fun cast artwork is by Joel Davenport.

The show is edited by Sandra Rise From Your Graves Fobota. Except no, it's edited by me. Today's show is edited by me.

[Megan Gunn]
Yeah.

[Stuart Carlton]
Bort Carlton. If you have a question or comment about the show, please email it to teachmeaboutthegreatlakes.

Please email it to teachmeaboutthegreatlakes at gmail.com. G as in very scary. Or leave a message on our hotline at 765-496-IISG.

4474.

[Carolyn Foley]
You can be forgiven. You've been attacked by a lake today.

[Stuart Carlton]
G for forgiven. Or if you want to send us a postcard. We love postcards.

195 Marsteller. West Lafayette, Indiana. 47906.

[Ethan Chitty]
47907.

[Megan Gunn]
Both of them will get done.

[Stuart Carlton]
Thank you for listening.

[Carolyn Foley]
Thank you all for listening.

[Megan Gunn]
I'm just glad that you said that you would edit this.

[Stuart Carlton]
And keep creating those lakes.

[Natty Morrison]
Let me hear that yell one more time.

[Stuart Carlton]
Oh, the Howard Dean scream?

[Natty Morrison]
Yeah.

[Stuart Carlton]
Gotta give him a minute. It's on a different, it's on a different channel.

[Ethan Chitty]
Wishing you and yours a lovely spooky season.

[Megan Gunn]
Enjoy those fall colors while they last. The trees are dying.

[Carolyn Foley]
That's me trying to get the timing.

[Stuart Carlton]
Wait, did it just spit out a mizzenmast?